yong Takahashi

Four Stages of Forgiveness

1.       Uncover your anger: More than one person suggests going to a professional rather than venting to anyone who will listen. Therapist suggests writing in a journal to process feelings. Take months to pick out the right one. Take another few weeks to find the perfect pen. Write and rewrite manifesto about various offenses. Go to social media to reach out but reading other people’s happy posts heightens anger.

2.       Decide to forgive: Dial the number. Turn off the phone before someone answers. Scribble on fancy stationary. Tear it up. Start an email. Delete it. Decide forgetting the person exists is easier than forgiving. Not wishing harm or death is a small step in the right direction. It’s enough for now.

3.       Work on forgiveness: Family and friends say time is limited and perhaps incidents should be reevaluated in different ways. There may be possible reasons why things happened the way they did and they may have been outside of anyone’s control. They say regret will overtake reasons for the rift. But triggers bring back betrayal, emptiness, loss. Maybe this Easter. Perhaps this Christmas. Will think about next Memorial Day.

4.       Release from emotional prison: Fading vision tries to decipher what was written in a journal decades ago. Meds calm hatred burning in the heart and age muddies the reasons why. Doctors tell children it’s only a matter of time. They ask is there any business needed to be resolved before the end. Children say everyone else is gone. Suppose there is no one left to forgive.